They say sex is of one the fundamental reasons why couples hit the court room for divorce..and most Nigerian women have been silent about their sexuality and the sexuality of their spouses because they really don't want to be sensed as promiscuous or spoilt or loose... Now I was surfing the net and I found a sex therapist who granted and interview saying that the average Nigerian man is not the most patient lover.
Her name is.. pastor Funmi Akingbade, a sex therapist, she said In an interview with City People magazine that Nigerian men see foreplay and other activities before intercourse as a waste of time. She said that to have a bliss marital life, great sex must be incorporated and that the woman should not be seen as an object just to 'release' into.
Pastor
funmi said that
The
Nigerian man is always in a rush when it comes to sex. They rush into it and
quickly rush out once they "come"and made it clear that Every driver
that wants an accident-free trip must drive safely, know his road signs, have
good driving skills and be a good observer. This is also true with sex because
marital sex is a journey and not to be done in a rush. Those who want to
succeed in marriage give their sex life a lot of attention and sex is what
makes it different and wonderful. So, for no reason must a spouse
"beg" or "plead" for sex from her partner. Rather, good sex
should be given mutually at all times"... Do you agree? I am sure that you
do but then the question still stands… is
it true that the average Nigerian man isn’t the most patient lover? And why is
that so?
Is that
the reason, most wives or ladies cheat?
Why
then do you think that the Nigerian man rush into and out of sex?
According
to the sex therapist, Pastor funmi, said that I quote: Even though a man’s
genital is controlled by the nervous system, it still has a mind of its own.
Every woman loves foreplay but the
African man has not much time for those sweet touching of a woman's body or
genital before sex, they see it as a waste of time. If men tend to rush through
foreplay, if at all they want to do it, they do it mildly and hurriedly. This
is because they are ever ready the moment they have an erection. Now when it comes to Delaying intercourse when
they have an erection and a willing woman nearby sounds idiotic to men because
they see it as a waste of their precious time.
She said
that A true Nigerian woman is not frigid. It is the way and manner a Nigerian
man, lets say a black man, gives sex to her that makes a black woman frigid. A
Nigerian man goes out from his own point of need and not from the woman's point
of need. They rush into the woman's private part and rush out. They see the
woman as an object to release into. They don't care whether she has an orgasm
or not. All they are after is about themselves.
They
fail to realize that she has her sexual Libido which should be touched or
aroused before dipping their manhood into her. But we let them know that they
should never rush the woman. A man should ask a woman to give him different
styles and positions during sex. She should be free to ask for sex whenever she
feels the urge. Our men should allow the women to have sex the way they enjoy
doing it too. It shouldn't be just the Adam and Eve style where the man
commands her to open and raise her legs and all of a sudden he rushes inside
immediately. If that happens then that means she has just been legally raped.
Because
when you Ask a woman what she wants in bed or during sex, she will tell you she
wants to be romanced, touched, kissed, she wants to be friendly. She wants to
be bounced with her partner first and this will really make her come easily and
sweetly. She will never be frigid if the man presses the right buttons in her
because sex to a woman is emotion and she can trade sex for affections because
he wants sex. The moment she gets affection from her man, she will be able to
open up well for her man to come inside her.
So as
a woman if you can easily go into her heart then you have a woman that you can
easily get into her legs. Before sex, a woman will want the man to start with
talk even if the talk is not relevant but she just needs your attention. She
will want to be touched all over but not immediately at the main point of her
body so that so it does not appear like you are only interested in getting
in-between her legs. Give her the attention, get bonded, get connected first
because she wants to feel you. So sex to a man is a show of love he derives
during sex or after the sex while that of a woman is a show of emotion she gets
before sex. So if you don't understand what a woman really needs in sex, she
will tighten her legs and lie down like a log or dead body lying in state
because she is not feeling the man emotionally". Now how many of you agree
with her…?
But ofcourse, is it true that the average Nigerian man aren’t patient
when it comes to making love...?
