There are so many fractions of life that need support and a voice. Of
late a lot of violent stories have been released and it gives others a
glimpse into the rampant lives of abuse in our society especially
between couples who supposedly love each other.
The honeymoon period
ended the day after we were married, six months from when we first met.
After a little argument, Dehinde grabbed me by the waist and lifted me
up against the wall.
He grabbed my hands and bent them backward, breaking one of my
fingers. I was in shock. I was stunned. I was in serious pains. A few
hours after the incident, He broke into tears and told me how sorry he
was. I loved him so much, so I believed him when he said it wouldn’t
happen again. But life became hell after that. For the next two months
the abuse was nonstop.
He kept me in a constant state of terror. I’m not a drinker, but
he’d toss a bottle of beer in my face and say “drink”. He’d punch me in
the stomach or kick me in the thigh if I didn’t. I started walking on
tiptoes around him, fearful of everything I’d say and do. But it didn’t
matter; the abuse continued. He dislocated my shoulder several times.
He’d lift me up by the ankles and bang my head against the floor in
the living room. A part of me wanted to leave, but another part of me
hesitated. Somehow I felt I was partially responsible for the abuse. If I
hadn’t made a particular comment or if I had just sipped the alcohol
everything would have been OK. And for the first few months he was
apologetic after the beatings.
He’d say he felt very bad and that he didn’t mean to hit me so hard.
He’d actually cry sometimes and show such remorse that I’d forget my own
pain. He’d become romantic and sweet, and I’d fall in love with him all
over again. I started to isolate myself from friends and family. I
didn’t want them to know about the violence.
I put on a happy face with my two kids and tried to act like things
were fine. They knew about the violence but didn’t know the severity.
When my mom wanted to see me, I’d lie, saying I was busy. I didn’t want
her to see my bruises. I was embarrassed. Sadly, the abuse worsened. The
rapes began about two months after we were married.
I was dressing for work when he came out of the shower and asked me
where I was going. He didn’t wait for my answer. He threw me on the bed,
sat on my stomach, pinned my arms up beside my head and ripped off my
clothes. “If you want s*x, wait until I get home tonight,” I said.
“You’ll do it when I want, and how I want,” was his response. It got
worse after that. He would tie me up and put foreign objects such as
necks of beer bottles into my v*g*na.
Five months into the marriage I endured beating after beating. While
most of the assaults were done when my children weren’t home, I was
worried that they might step in and try to protect me. If they did, they
might get beaten, too. I began plotting our escape, but it was
difficult. He had begun making threatening comments: “You can never get
far enough away from me. I will always find you. If I can’t have you, no
one will.” I felt trapped.
How I left? He had disappeared for three days. I didn’t know where he
was. I thought he had been in an accident. I called his phone; he would
answer but not say anything. He arrived home on the third night at
about 1a.m. and immediately started screaming at me that he didn’t
appreciate me trying to track him down. We were in the sitting room and
he grabbed the land-phone receiver and began to beat me in the face with
it.
His eyes were red and flashing like I’d never seen before. I ran to
the bedroom, and he was right behind me. He picked me up over his head
and threw me across the room twice. I broke my tailbone in the second
fall. My 6-year-old daughter woke up. She must have heard something and
came to see what was happening.
She just stood there, stunned. He looked at her and got scared for
some reason. He went into the bedroom and pack his things. I found my
phone, fighting the pain from the broken bone, limped to the living
room, I then called my father who took me away from the house. Since
then I have not set my eyes on Dehinde. Please what should I do about
this marriage?
