Hi Jane,
I am shima from kubwa. I am in a relationship where am
not really getting what I want. The relationship has lasted for almost a year
now and I have not for once denied him whatever he asks. Most times even when am
not ready for sex. I really don't have a choice because I’m just so scared of what
the aftermath would look like. I broke up from a 4yr relationship and it was
during my times of pain that this other guy came along. And with him I could go
through that period and that made it easy. Now he is the only one in my life
and I have become so rigid that I CAN’T let anyone come into my life anymore. He
said he has a woman somewhere far away but the connect wasn't there anymore because
of the distance. He hardly calls and whenever he calls, we hardly have something
to talk about. Juicy I’m so hurt and confused. I dunno how to move on because I’m
scared of losing him.
There is really
no communication BTW us..i'm so scared of him. Sometimes he yells at me like he
would strangle me if not he doesn't touch his women
*******
The question is, is he scared of losing you too? Lets start
from there, first and build to a crescendo. Now, your fear is born out of the
fact that you don’t want to be alone. You think being alone is a dark room
where you can metamorphose into a beast that no one will like to associate with
such that when you finally step out of that closet and look at your frame in
the mirror, you wouldn’t even blame people for leaving you but yourself because
you weren’t able to deal with the pain, the anger and the hatred surging
through you right now as a result of your love being thrown back at you by the
one man that you entrusted it to. Now the instability of your chaotic emotions
has infused into your cells, changing your DNA into that of an emotionally
insensitive being who would care less of any other one but the man that she’s
lost…
*weird analogy, I guess*
