THE COURTESAN-CHAPTER 1 EPISODE 4: No Pride Left

Monday, January 5, 2015



I felt my inside twist in pain. Getting the news of my sister dying from cancer made me acutely aware of how much I have missed my family and how so desperately I wanted them to be perfectly okay even if it means doing odd jobs to make that happen. She was just twenty seven years old and has so much life to be wasted by that disease.
Looking straight into Saul’s eyes, I knew I couldn’t afford to bring a child into this selfish circumstance.
‘I can assure you I would not for a moment think of bringing a child into such n arrangement as this’. I spat at him, turning away from Saul I put the envelope to one side.
I heard him move behind me and froze instantly. I silently prayed for him not to touch me in case I betray my composure. The skin along my bare arms crawled in anticipation of his warm, gliding hands. How many times had he embraced me from behind in the past?
His hands would move slowly from my hips to my breast, cupping it, his mouth nuzzling on the sensitive skin of my neck until I would turn in his arms and offer myself to him.
My mind exploded with images of us together. The passion he had ignited in me was something I had never experienced before even though I had not been a virgin when we had met.


I shuddered immediately his hands came to rest on my hips. ‘You still find my touch abhorrent, or is it that you re still hungry for it?’ he asked, his warm hint of mint breath skating pass my ears.
If only he knew!  I thought to myself as my heart rammed against my ribs like a giant pendulum inside the body of a too small clock. ‘I told you....I...I..want some time to think about this’. I said trying to keep my voice even.
He turned my around to face him now, his eyes boring into mine. ‘You haven’t got much time to think about it, Tara,’ he said. ‘You have debts up to your diamond- studded ears.’ he fingered one glittering earlobe. ‘Did he buy these for you?’
Swallowing hard, I responded. ‘Yes!’
His hands fell off to his side as he commanded, ‘Take them off!’
I frowned again, my stomach nosediving in alarm. ‘whaaat?’
His mouth was bracketed by lines of steel. ‘Take them off and everything else that he gave you. ‘Now.’
I couldn’t believe what was about to happen so much so I had to press my lips so hard to contain my pulsing panic. Was this really my Saul? The very same man that I had fallen in love with so deeply and irrevocably? He’s remarkably become a stranger, a terrifying stranger with not just revenge on his mind but the total humiliation of my well being as well.
I would not give in to him.
I would not.
I tightened my hands into fists by my sides, holding his glacial glare with a feisty flash of my own. ‘No!’
My voice came out too thread and soft, so I had to repeat it. ‘No. Absolutely not’.
His pupils flared, his mouth flattening even further.
‘I will give you one minute, Tara, otherwise the deal is off and keep in mind the massive debts your husband left behind. At last count it was in hundreds of thousands.’ He set the timer on his watch; his dark gaze holding her’s challengingly. ‘Your time starts now’.
I swallowed back my anguish; the determination in his eyes would make any spine rattle in fear.
‘D-Don’t do this, Saul...!’

A nerve flickered at the side of his mouth. ‘If you will not do it then I will do it for you.’ He warned.
I believed him well capable of it. My hands began to tremble as I tried to remove the earrings, my fingers fumbling uselessly until I felt terribly close to tears but I soldiered on, glaring at him bitterly, hating him with such intensity I could taste the acridity of it in my mouth. Finally I got the studs out and placed them on the coffee table to my right.
‘Now the rest,’ he said, standing with his feet apart, his arms folded across his chest in n authoritarian stance that boiled my blood red-hot.
Still glaring at him, I took each of my dress rings off and put them beside the earrings.
‘There,’ I said, arching one of my brows at him. ‘Happy now?’
His black eyes stripped me mercilessly. ‘Keep going.’
My heart sank against my chest wall. I sent the point of my tongue out over my lips, buying for time, wondering if he wanted me to crumble emotionally, to beg and to plead with him to stop.

I would not do it.
I would not break or bend, I would not cry, I would not beg.
I raised my chin and locked gazes with him. Black and brown pupil warred for a pulsing moment.
“All right, then.’ I said with a devil-may-care lift of shoulder as I loosened the catch on my watch.
I slipped it off my wrist and placed it beside the earrings and rings.
I straightened and giving him a challenging look, slipped off my shoes, kicking them to one side before I reached for the zipper at the back of my skirt. I told myself I had stood in front of hundreds of people before while I had been modelling. This is no different; besides, he had seen it all before. My body was no secret to him. He knew every curve and contour and every secret place.
The tension in the air was palpable. 

I slid the zipper down, the metallic sound thunderous in the crackling silence. The fabric slipped to the floor and I stepped out if its circle, my fingers to the hem of my pull-on top.
Saul’s eyes followed me like a night-vision searchlight. I felt the heat of it scorch my flesh as my top joined my skirt on the floor. I stood before him in a black French, lace push up bra and knickers, my chin high, my right hip tilted in model –like pose.
“I bought these myself,’ I said with a defiant look.
His lips flickered, his dark eyes gleaming. ‘Prove it.’
I couldn’t believe it; I clenched my teeth, fighting to keep cool. He wanted my pride any way he could get it. ‘I don’t have the receipt anymore, so I am afraid you will have to take my word for it,’ I said pushing my chin to disguise its wobble.
‘Your word?’  His top lip lifted in a mocking curl.
‘Since when should I take as gospel, the words of a gold digger?’
‘I am no gold digger,’ I said in hush tone but with steely dignity.
The timer on his watch beeped, informing me the minute was up.
I felt my stomach slip as Saul’s gaze hit mine.
‘Well?’ he said
                                  *************************
I have never felt so naked and exposed in my life and yet i was still wearing more than most people wore on the French Riviera beaches that I could see from the villa’s windows.
‘How much are you going to pay me?’ I asked, knowing it would exactly the question a gold digger would ask, but I was beyond caring. Rosaline was more important than my pride at the moment. What my sister had suffered recently was far worse than anything Saul could possibly do to me.
He named a sum that lifted my brows. Th-that much?’ I asked in a croak.
He gave n imperious smile, the blackness of his pupils flaring with passionate promise and said,
‘I am going to make you earn every single penny of it, Tara. I don’t suppose you have forgotten how good we were together, hmmm?’ He said with a mischievous eyebrow arched.
My heart skipped a beat. I remembered everything: every touch, every kiss, every inflammable caress and earth-shattering orgasm that had left me quaking in his arms time and time again.
‘You want some sort of medal for being able to perform an act that humans, even the most base of animals, have been doing for centuries?’ I asked with a disdain look.  *In my heart, I wanted that experience more than anything else at this point*

He suddenly snagged one of my wrists and pulled me up against him, his chest to my pounding chest and his strong, immovable thighs to my weak, trembling ones.
‘Don’t push me too far, Tara,’ he said in a low growl.
‘I am this close,’ he held up his index finger and thumb a pinch distance apart, ‘to walking out of here and leaving you to face your sugar daddy’s creditors.’
Again I had desperately wanted to call his bluff and oOh I would have if it hadn’t been for Rosaline. A vision of my shattered sister, going through various hands of doctors and chemotherapy was the only thing that stopped me.
‘Alright,’ I said on an expelled breathe. I’ll do it.’
Saul’s hold loosened, but he didn’t release me. Instead his thumb found my thundering pulse, stroking over it in a rhythmic motion that was as powerful as drug.
‘I will release a press statement for tomorrow’s papers,’ he said into silence. ‘We will begin living together as of now.’

I looked up at him in wide-eyed trepidation. ‘So...so soon?’
His eyes went to my mouth before returning to mine.
‘I have waited five years to have you where I want you,’ He said.
I gave him an embittered look. ‘Where might that be?’ I said.
‘In the palm of your hands, begging for mercy?’
He traced a long finger over each of the upper curves of my breast before dipping into the valley of my cleavage, the nerves beneath my skin going off like miniature explosives.
‘I think you know exactly where i want you,’ he said in a tone that was rough and deep and sensually, sinfully dangerous.
I felt my whole body quiver at the thought of him plunging into me, claiming me as his.
Not in love.
Not in mutual attraction.
But in lustful, hate-filled revenge.....
                                                                                       
                                                                             ....to be continued next week !

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