You know, changes
through times are remarkable, such that its almost possible that anything and
everything is obtainable and thus we can do just about anything we want, date
or marry anyone and anything we feel a certain attachment to.
Once you catch a glimpse of any type of idea
or dream…., the times that we are in can allow you express it. People might
frown at it because it’s unusual but then you still can go by it and damn the
consequences….
I can remember a
friend of mine in my university days who got married to a guy way older, too
old for comfort though but I had a way of suppressing my surprise the first
time I bumped into her husband in a supermarket but I just didn't know how to
greet him… I was torn between going down on my knees respectfully or not be too
casual about it, either way… I just figured an awkward way around it, which she
was smart enough to figure out..
See, they'veD got lovely kids together and
believe me, she is doing so well for herself than I could have ever imagined.
Now there is yet another mutual friend of
us that got married to a guy whom she is three years old than, but this guy is
somewhat mature looking such that you would think he is the older one. Now in
as much as he proves to her on a daily basis that he is not the philandering
type, this mutual friend finds it hard to believe that there is not a way that
he hasn’t cheated on her even emotionally with the rate at which feisty younger
girls are parading around successful hardworking plus energetic and cute
looking Abuja men. It could only be too hard for him not to consider her old
and then plunge in with fresher, adventurous and wild looking lady… yea, anyone
would say that woman has huge insecurity going but that could be so, seeing
that after putting to bed three kids for him, her body may just not be that
inviting as it were….so, fine! Inferiority steps right in and there you
have it… a big struggle and frustration between two of them seeing that he isn’t
aging anytime soon but she is because childbirth accelerates the aging process.
So the man doesn’t get the chance to catch up with her like it would be the
case with a woman who married a man 10years older than her….!
Would you say she
made a mistake marrying a man younger without first facing these realities?
How does she
build her confidence in the face of these insecurity?
Are there likely
chances for a younger man to find another woman more attractive than the older
woman, he’s married to?
They say love
knows no age, how pleasantly true do you personally drive this home…?
Women why wouldn’t
think of marrying a guy younger?
There is another acquaintance whose
husband I know, they got married for over 8years and are blessed with two sons.
He admits to the fact that he’s made the best decision ever marrying a woman
who’s way older than him because she has been able to nurture him to the man
that he is now. He said that he couldn’t have asked for less or more from God
because at the stage he was in, 9years ago when he met her, no young and sane
woman would have been able to tame his wild nature and change his demeanor. He
was what anyone would call the prodigal son, a cheat and an anger powerhouse
ready to go off at the least provocation and that was born out of the fact that
he never knew his mother… so, he was never in touch with his soft side until he
fell in love with this older woman who is just 6years older him who took care
of him like a mother at home, like a sister and lover outside and like a whore
in the bedroom…! It wasn’t easy but she was patient enough to condone his
excesses at the early stage of their relationship….and so just as women find
older men more understanding and caring,
younger men also find older women more attractive and understanding and
thus the trend of younger men searching for older women.
Here is where I am driving at.
We all know that
the issue of maturity and stability is one of the major reasons some people
preferred older partners to much younger ones.
Most women
preferred older men because of the emotional maturity and understanding they
get from them. Some women believe that
older men are more mature than the younger ones.
And that, When they marry men that are younger or
of their age, there seems to be lack of tolerance and understanding in the
home, in view of this they go for older men.
But in marrying a man twice as old as you are for
the maturity reason, I often wonder doesn’t disparity in intelligence step in? Wouldn’t
there be difficulty in the level of communication since it would be hard to
reason on same page and thus the reason why these same younger women turn to
younger men or men of same age for company after marriage to these old men?
Likewise, in the aspect of men, they love being respected
by opposite sex, so they marry women that are younger than them; who would give
him the respect he craves for.
On the otherhand, one of the key
factors that make some men prefer older partner is the need for someone that
could be like a mother to them.
Now men, How true
that is… ? I will love to find out!!
A man once told me that the reason why men would
hop for older women is because Some men love to satisfy their most important
unmet need, they want someone who will take proper care of them like their
mother or a mother figure to them and because of this he gets attracted to
older women.
This makes him feel special or superior to his
peers. This feeling becomes stronger if this woman has a high status and
because many old women have good careers their status is usually higher than
the status of younger women.
He further stated that most young women are sassy and hard to tame,
so to give respect to those that are just a little older than them becomes a
problem…
Now over to you…
I know its cliché coming out to ask but I would…
what are the reasons any man would prefer an older woman? Is it because he lack
a motherly touch so much he is in search of a woman who should be herself with
him instead of daily proving to him that she can mother him?
Now is it so much of a big deal if an older woman
finds love with a younger man?
People indeed frown at the sight of a younger girl
marrying a man old enough to be her father but more so are the frowns of people
against a younger boy marrying an older woman?
Can it ever be thought that the younger one in the
relationship isn’t there so much for the money or security but for genuine
attraction and love with no ulterior motives attached to it…?
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