The
idea of women marrying younger men is becoming popular in our days, but its acceptability
has been strongly challenged. It is not really a big deal in the western world,
but
It
is a big deal in some places in Africa. It still remains a strange and
unacceptable idea in
Africa
and everyone seem to envisage nothing more than problems in such union.
My question
is: what is actually wrong with such a union? Does any religion support such
marriage?
Is
there any guarantee for success in such a union or everyone should expect
problems in the long-run? Stay with me as I make my opinion known to you and
also tell you about a 33 year old lady who had been lonely for some time now
and wooed by a 24 year old man who is in his final year but then he is building
his own company and he is intellectually sound and mature compared to most of
the men her mates or men older.. now her fears are one:
Is she going to be losing her mind to let her guard down....? is she settling below standards? Is she acting under pressure?
Is she going to be losing her mind to let her guard down....? is she settling below standards? Is she acting under pressure?
Friends
have asked her questions like, is he serious about you or he is looking for a
fling? To her, he is not as a matter of facts, he is way more serious about his
feelings for her than she is for him?
Is
he a graduate? Her friends would ask her? Knowing what they would say if she
said no, she covers him up and says he is a graduate.
Does
he have a place of his own? Naah, he is living with his mum but he is planning on
moving out as soon as possible...
In
her silent moments, she thinks about the not so great sides of this
relationship and talks about it with her younger man and here is what he says to
her;
“
I know i am not the man that you think you deserve now, i know i am still a
work in progress but if you could be patient a little, i will make you happy in
the future which will in turn make me happy.” I don’t care about the age
difference. What I care about is the fact that i have met a lady who makes me
wanna be better than I already am.”
I
don’t intend to keep you waiting because i know you need something serious and
a family of your own but i am not ready to lose you and in no time i will be
that man that you need but please be patient with me.”
Now,
like i said earlier, he would be a graduate by this time next year and who
knows, serve and then come back to be a man who should earn some income...
approximately three years, give or take.
Now
should she wait, knowing that anything can happen... ? His company may just change
his world in a second depending on the partners he gets to invest into his
dream?
Should
she wait knowing that if in three years he is ready, she will be 36 years old?
Should
she wait for her age mate, or someone older who is already settled but then guys, remember
that she has been waiting for years for these type of men to come into her life
and all they do is get intimidated for no reason, or they just come to eat from
her?
What
would you advise her?
Have
you as a woman found yourself with a much younger guy? How has it been for
you.. !
what is the success rates of a younger man-older woman marriage in Nigeria ?
what age gap difference is too much?
Several relationships where the woman is older than the man - especially in Africa - are
ReplyDeletefacing rejections, oppositions, and mockery because people feel such relationships are against
norms, and they should not be accepted. In fact, some people chose to call it a 'taboo'
But it ain't a taboo. i honestly think that if you find love in a younger man and its mutual and predatory then it is encourage. love comes to us in different shades, sizes and times. so why leave waiting for someone who is older but then doesnt treat you like your younger lover does.
DeleteAbeg the age difference is too much between them. besides who is to say that when he is done with schoool he will not get a sexier and fresher woman and then dump this one. she should not be desperate. let her wait. God's time is the best.
ReplyDeletelife takes a very wonderful and unpredictable turn with people. he might not be that man by societal standards now but who is to say he will not be in the next couple of minutes. it is better to wait for the love of your life than hurriedly spend the rest of your life with someone you do not feel a thing for just because you are running out of time.patience is very vital in finding love but thanks for your comment.
DeleteNice men are hard to find. Age doesnt matter as long as you both are compatible and you know the risk or the downsides to marrying a younger man and have decided that your love is deep enough to withstand the odds... then what the fuck? just bloody ride on with it as long as both families are ok with the situation(which i think they are not necessarily oblige to know).
ReplyDeleteMarriage is only for two people who have found themselves and are ready to fight against whatever tides they may encounter in the future. so i say fuck the world and be happy. if he makes you happy, then go for it. you cant wait for men who arent ready to settle. if he is true to his words, and you know it, please by all means, wait and pray!
Thank you for your comment. people cage themselves in the defines of society and what people would say. if it works for you, enjoy it and forget what the world thinks as long as you are not going against the law of the land.
DeleteMy problem here is the youth service year. They are wild and full of fun with so many ladies available. I am sure he can make a more lasting choice after the service.
ReplyDeletewhen a man is in need love and has found the one woman that clicks on every level, no matter how wild or sexy other women are around him, he will still find his way to the one place his heart is buried in. so i would say, why not take that chance and see how deep his love is.
Delete