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| illustration by peniel_enchill |
I mean, we truly are eager to figure out from you
guys because it concerns you..: who do you think really owns a man: HIMSELF,
HIS MOTHER OR WIFE?
Often
time when argument ensues between these three, we hear Mothers-In-Law say
furiously, “My son must listen and obey me, unless he did not suck on my
breast” and Daughters-In-Law would reply angrily; “That was 40 years
ago, now it is my breast he sucks…”. Again, the Mother would say, “I
carried him for 9 months…” and the wife would say, “He was only 3.5 KG
then; now I carry him every night and will carry him till death do us part and
he weighs 90 KG…”. When the Man comes into the picture, he would say
arrogantly, “I am old enough to take care of myself jor…”.
I have a
story of a married woman who is living in hell in her home. Kpelumi
is her name, she told me that before luck smiled on her family, they were just
barely making ends meet. They lived in the suburb area in durumi, Abuja just
right after a Pentecostal church, living faith bible church...There you find
the ‘face
me-i face you’ buildings, makeshift zinc houses with no
fence or gates. Free access, was the only word anyone knew there. No family
privacy and the only time you can have a little bit of privacy was within the
four walls of your one room apartment with six kids, all girls. The oldest
being 16years old.
That is a
lot of kids for a poor family then and it brings me to the saying that the only
benefit you derive from poverty is the ability to replenish the earth with lots
of children because you are so saddened by the impoverish conditions that you
have found yourself so much so that the only thing on your mind that makes a
lot of sense and uplifts your spirit is the feeling of ecstasy and that you can
only derive from making love to your partner...
Now i wondered how they even made love in that
type of condition with kids sleeping close by on the floor while she and her
hard working husband slept on the creaking six springs bed!
You do
remember that old school bed, huh? That bounces at every move you make,
producing sounds alongside it.... so how do they even work it out at night
without the kids wondering what’s going on....?
Well,
enough of too much information on their sex lives, but according to her, she
said that luck smiled on her husband one fateful day and their lives changed
for Good...
Flamboyance
became the lifestyle of the day because they’ve never had to taste the sweetness of
wealth before. Things apparently were moving well and taking shape, not until
her husband’s mother moved in with them for just a weekend that turned into a
near lifetime stay!
Her
mother-in-law took control of everything even to the point of washing her
husband’s clothes and cooking his meals which her son couldn’t hide his feeling; of how much he had missed the old hands of his 69years old mother’s cooking, a
mother who carried the burdens of the entire family when his father left him at
a tender age of 7... fending for him and herself including his two aunties!
Oops.... i forgot to mention that he is the only surviving child of his mother,
out of four siblings that died mysteriously...!
well the gists of the death of
his siblings are but for another day!
Back to
the mother-in law's story, the intriguing part of the gist is the fact that
kpelumi’s mother in law is constantly nagging and cursing her because she is
unable to produce an heir that would inherit the wealth that is now stably
flowing into the family and for that reason, his mother is pushing her son to get another woman who can produce
a man child or the name of the family will die with her son when he enters his
grave.
And in
her mother-in law’s words ‘’ that would be over my dead body, not after all i
have suffered for my only child’’. But kpelumi stood her grounds saying that
she cant afford to raise another child again cus that would be too much cus the
last child is barely three years old...
To cut a
long story short, kpelumi’s husband has finally given in to his mother’s wishes
and accepted his mother’s request to stop wasting his sperm on his wife, better
still, to reduce the temptation to be with her, kpelumi should pack her things
to the guest room unless she be willing to produce a male child for the family!
Currently
kpelumi sleeps in the guest room while her mother-in law sleeps with her only
son in kpelumi’s matrimonial bed...!
Time will
not permit me to tell you about the pain, abuse that she has gone through in
the hands of her dictator called mother in-law and a husband who follows to the
letter the dictates of his mother cus he can not afford to hurt his mom who’s
being his long standing pillar of support...!
Now, i
ask you! Who truly owns the man?
Is it the
mother?
Could it
be the wife?
Or the
man, all by himself, for himself...?
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