I Am Having Feelings For My Bestfriend

illustration by Girly_m

Errmmm Guys!!!
i got a mail from a Nigerian lady who lives in spain and i thought to share and find out if you think 

the idea of having bestfriends should still stand seeing how media have bastardized the idea of intimacy!

And this is my background (which I didn't succeed to summarize shorter hehe):

My name is Dubby, a Nigerian but a student in a popular university in spain and i have had most of my growing days in certain parts of the world. Anyways to cut to the chase, I've been friends with a girl from my sorority for 3 years now, but two years ago I found myself suddenly having feelings of a different kind than friendship for her. It took me a while before I realised I was actually feeling very attracted to her, although up to then i always identified as being straight myself.

I didn't want to take the risk of ruining the friendship and I think I managed quite well not to show, but it was hard now and then not saying anything, especially when we would go clubbing together on a weekend. Over time I realised inside I was reacting quite intense to her actions and still combined with feeling attracted to her, bringing me to realise I was simply in love with her and anything she did or said to me mattered alot. I also realised I had been sacrificing myself by doing a lot for her whenever she needed me, without even thinking about it.

Probably also because of the love I felt for her. Getting too used to my attention, it made her act spoiled in our friendship though, and after a while I got completely fed up with it and refused to continue so. Within short period we ended up in a fight, from my perspective due to her princess behaviour/attitude. This time I didn't take the initiative to make it up, neither did she, probably still expecting me to do so. We ended up stubbornly not talking for a couple of months to each other. And then, as if nothing had happened, after I invited her over for a friend’s birthday party in Maitama, just before she would go studying abroad a couple of months, we were good again, without even discussing the fight.

Two months later I even flew up to Spain with another friend of ours to visit her, and since then we have been on even better terms again, and, more balanced than before, without too much princessal behaviour. I have just come back from four months of travelling myself, and while travelling i have found myself thinking of her quite regularly. when I came back to the airport she showed up and since it has been two weeks, I've felt overwhelmed by the same feelings for her I've had two years ago. And I'm not sure whether or not to feel happy about this, but it must mean she really means something to me. 

I still don't have any clue about her feelings regarding bisexuality and the more me, but I wish to speak my part on it out to her at the moment, regardless of what her reaction will be. I just want it to be out in the air, so that she knows, so that possibly it might actually inspire her, or not. The fact is my feelings are running away with me that strongly I almost can't care any longer what it would mean to her and that might be a risky thing. I had a moment to do some reflection, So, I wish it wouldn't be such a big deal to tell her, also because to me it's a burden to withold something so unacceptable to most people, especially when we're having fun nights out together with other friend: who knows there is a possibility that something might come forth out of it.

I do feel as if she enjoys the platonic intimacy I'm feeling in the same way and lately I even picked up on some gay signs from her side. But at the same time it's hard to know whether I'm interpreting this right or whether I'm over-interpreting. One thing for sure, I'm confused and biased by my own hopes haha. 
As we are only just very good friends again (and definitely one of each others best friends as well) and we're in the same sorority (so probably in each others' lives the rest of our lives anyways), I'm realising it's a moment to overthink properly before doing anything I'll regret. So what would be wise: come out or keep it safe inside and possibly take some distance.

Any suggestions?

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