TAKING A PEEP AT THE SEX LIFE IN MOST NIGERIAN HOMES II.

Oops, yesterday I put it down on the male folks. I didn’t know how much I went in on peeping the sex patterns of Nigerian men until a very good friend called me during working hours to talk about it.. 

hahhahaha

Anyways, I am here this morning to conclude on it and incase you didn’t get the memo, we are going erotica on you and what we talk about is PG 18 most times. Maybe, I will tilt toward marital angles when I finally get married but right now, we will be acting young, wild and free.

So where did I stop, yesterday?

Oh ok, Nigerian men don’t make sounds or betray their masculinity in bed. Yup, I remember!!! They rather remain mute and expressionless, internalizing the volcanic feeling erupting in their vulnerable souls but yet forgetting that moaning, dirty talking and distorted face is not left to the women alone.

Dang!!!

Now, I will just carry on with it already.

We get it that Nigerian men are endowed six inches and more beneath..{ i mean if you are less than five inches, then you have got to put in more intelligence and work; two times harder than other men to reach the g-spot}.. even the white ladies can attest to the fact that when you go black you never go back but then that doesn’t give you the green ticket to automatically hitting the g-spot. Some just have the tool with great inches and widths but don’t know how to work it. So they think as long as you keep plunging into the deep, there ain’t any way that she wouldn’t orgasm and my goodness some men don’t have a clue where the g-spot is.

 I swear down!!! I have asked questions and done my survey, so yes I am cock sure..

So here it is, that she makes sounds, don’t mean she is anywhere close to climaxing. I know of a friend who doesn’t know what it feels like to orgasm but yes, she make sounds…

why???

To encourage her man for putting so much work. I mean, for all the sweat dripping over his face, wetting the sheet and panting, you have got to be his cheerleader or he will never hump you ever again.

By now, everyone knows that seven times out of ten, every woman fake orgasm because it takes a lot of time to reach there and men are quick to get there as much as four times a day. Half of the time, Nigerian women don’t want to infuriate the men, so the louder her moan, the faster it is to ginger the men to reach their climax. Therefore, men must get it that their level of thrusting is not necessarily a determinant or a certainty of her orgasm.

And for fear of what the appraisal  might be, Nigerian men don’t cuddle after sex, so they roll off to snore, leaving her to count the ceilings after minutes or even hours.

Yikes, how could I have forgotten to add that Nigerian men, rush too often during sex???

 As long as the lollipop isn’t in the cookie jar with their eyes shut and their heartbeats stopped for a milli second, every other thing is a waste of time and thus sex don’t last. They rather have blue balls than leave lollipop dangling over the cookie jar, wasting precious time; foreplaying.

Please tell me, why do you have more inter racial marriages now? Why are our ladies running after the white men regardless of the fact that their lollipops are as small as the carrots these meshia sell on wheelbarrows. It’s because they know better to worship her body. They make every inch of her body quiver, no parts left unrattled as long as she is hygienically conscious ofcourse cause nobody loves the idea of contracting HPV or Herpes or gbogbotigbo jos because you wan to show say you be the master of the trade. No one wants to shine like that too early to the grave.

 “Thank you! Very much”

So, Nigerian men forget that it takes just more than a lollipop to get teleported to another world.

And yuck, did I mention the most annoying pattern for today that Nigeria men tend to display after sex… my wordddd….!

Cleaning their spermatozoa with the bed sheet; like for Pete sakes…. why????

And so, when I visit a male friend’s house if he happens to leave in a one room apartment with no chair but bed for a chair, I survey the bedsheet stylishly before I sit or lay… if any dry whitish or cream colored patch is on sight, I would just quietly hop for the floor instead. We smart like that..lol

I will tell a story that my girlfriend illustrated when we were still in the university. She lived with her mother and sibling in a chanty environment somewhere in Akwa Ibom and she came to class one day with one of those juicy gist happening around her and somehow, her friend walked up to where we were sitting after lectures, said her pleasantries and left.

My friend turned to me and said

“Hmmn, this girl and her boyfriend can disturb sha..”

I was quite drawn in, wanting to know what she meant by “disturb” as we could be very mischievous and often laughed at how people looked, talked or acted regardless of the fact that we were no different from these people we made fun of because we laughed at “us” too… Oh, school days were fun with Otobong.

Anyways, back to the story.. she said

“Haa, na so one day, I was sleeping and it was as if I was hearing the noise from my dream; only for me to wake up to the noise these two people were making especially that girl.”

It all happened that her friend’s apartment was just a wall separated from her’s with a door in between. Otobong’s bed was placed against the door. Now the door had holes from which you could peep through and she never thought of peeping through her friend apartment up until when  she started hearing sounds from pornographic films both would watch or from the sounds they made. So one day out of curiosity, she decided to take a peep at this Nigerian couple and my­_oh_my, she said, her friend’s man was ramming her good and at the end of what seemed like eternity, they climaxed and he got up, picked up the rumpled wrapper that was lying on the bed and wrapped it round his lollipop, pulling It through the length of it, all cleaned out and then he threw it on the floor and wore his boxers.

Yes, that’s the typical Nigerian man after sex and what you see next after this is that the woman picks up that sheet and washes it for them. Like…come the f**k on, will you??

Well, these are some of the sex patterns that I am allowed to go through with. Tomorrow, I will be revealing the sex lives and patterns of Nigerian ladies.

All my ladies in the house, can I hear you say: whoop-whoop!!!

Catch ya!

If you missed the first part of this article, then join the train HERE

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