You Can Now Insert A Microchip Into A Penis To Catch A Man Cheating

Omo, babes!!!
Chai, you dont need to worry again as in, i  stumbled on a friend's post while i was surfing on instagram about the information that there is now a microchip oh to catch a cheating partner. Now if you Worried that your man might be cheating then this is it..!
Can you imagineeee??? A set of microchips for his penis and your vagina?
Wooow, amazeballs!!
Now, i did a little research and obviously, Commit-Tech (a most likely fake company) has announced a November launch for a product designed to stop cheaters in their semen-covered tracks.

Just get your guy to slip this chip into the tip of his penis (here is where I started laugh-crying and never stopped)... Like, what guy knowing how he likes to taste the waters will agree to wearing a mysterious microchip anddddd on top his penis???? What Naija man would allow for that to happen? Maybe in his dreams..lmao. Then, you are also supposed to put a similar chip in your vulva, download the Commit-Tech app to your smartphone and booom, you've got constant access to his penis and all of its activities. The device claims that if the penis with said chip in it has sex with a hole that does not have the corresponding chip inside of it, it will send an alert to your phone.
 "Bomboclatt!"

Can you imagine being at work, leaning in hard and leading a meeting about last month's numbers and your phone vibrates. You glance down, adjusting your sensible Meroni suit jacket and see "TREVOR IS F**KING SOME STRANGER" flashing on your screen.
Then you're like "Again with this, Trevor?" And you get distracted and botch the meeting and now you'll never be great all because of Trevor, his penis, and high tech phone science????
I am not a obssessive, well can be possessive but danngg.. not a bad idea to track his ass using a GPS...LMAO
There is another alternative measure you can take if you suspect that your dude is cheating. You could be like "Hey, we need to talk, I'm feeling like there is some cheating happening." What's great about doing this is that every single man on planet earth when confronted this way will respond with: "WHAT? ME? CHEAT? NO? YOU'RE CRAZY!"
The good news is that because men are as transparent as sheets of the finest rice paper, you'll be able to glean from his own rendition of this response whether or not it is true and proceed from there.
If you think your dude is cheating, the truth is almost inconsequential.
The fact that you're feeling insecure in the relationship is what matters. It's a sign there's shit that needs to be addressed. I'm sorry to say there is no penile microchip that can miraculous heal your own trust issues.
But then, ladies lets assume that this chip is for real, would you be happy about Microchipping your bae's penis? And bae, would you allow your penis be microchipped

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