Earlier on today I was surfing on the internet for want of what to discuss and I grabbed an article by some dude called Joro Olumofin who doesn’t think
dating someone shouldn’t be a family affair and I quite think otherwise…
Well, before I give you reasons why I think otherwise, lets read out
the whole article.
Should
relationships be a family affair?
This is
one of the most common questions in couples therapy and counseling because
Family plays a major role in the success or failure of a relationship…
I must
also state that there is no fixed solution or approach towards this question or
phenomenon; Should you date your boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s family too? This is
because it is relative i.e. families differ, personalities differ, and societal
frameworks differ so there is no generalized solution but only a situational
solution.
This
being said, some people today, Guys/Ladies date their girlfriends or boyfriends
family even extended Family too. They develop an intimate relationship with
their boyfriends family members, attend all family functions, add all family
members on bbm, whatsapp, Facebook, Instagram, go to their boyfriends house to
do chores (wash plates, clothes), go and help their boyfriends mom to tie Gele
and cook for her, travel to Ogun/Ondo state for a distant uncles 50th birthday
party, call their boyfriends cousin to dish out relationship advice, etc.
The
question remains – Are all these acts beneficial to the growth and prosperity
of a relationship? Are these acts unnecessary? Are you giving people the right
to interfere in your relationship?
In my
Opinion, I believe you shouldn’t date your bf/gfs family too.
Of course
one can have a cordial relationship with them, but don’t involve them in the
day to day activities of your relationship because they are going to bring
their own experiences, expectations and requirements into your relationship and
sometimes even tell you how to manage your life or affairs.
Extraneous
Variables in Psychology always need to be reduced or controlled to get an
Objective result. Besides, a relationship should be between 2 people not 3, 4
or 5.
Also,
sometimes you need to make your own mistakes so that you learn firsthand from them.
As I said earlier, it’s relative. So do what works for you in your own
situation and environment.
#DoktorMofin
We are talking about certain things that
might or might not keep a relationship! Some people are of the opinion that for
a relationship to hold and for it to be strong, your partner should first be
loved and accepted wholeheartedly and absolutely by their families because families are
pointers to the success or failure of any relationship or courtship…
There are some relationships that got saved
by parents because they loved and accepted a certain partner so the other
partner who was misbehaving got checkmated and probably got back on track!.
Well,
some people don’t believe that having a relationship should be a family
affair…
So, you coming over to wash plates, cook food, tie mama’s gele and sweep the house, bla bla…, in order to be in their good book is uncalled for! That's just eye service and it doesn’t sustain or guarantee the success of the relationship..
Now, regarding keeping a man in a relationship Ali Baba shared some
relationship advice on social media one morning saying that Many Men have left very Good Women…A Man who wants to be
Kept, has to see what will Keep Him’
And this is actually what The comedian wrote under a photo
on Instagram:
Much as I agree, because examples abound, many men have
left very good women. But a man who wants to be kept, has to see what will keep
him. Don’t be fooled from what you see outside. There are usually reasons that
make people walk away from what may seem to everyone as THE BEST RELATIONSHIPS.
I know a lady who left a guy who had everything and was buff plus handsome. He
however had vowed he would not have kids. The lady had to leave. Bottom line…
There is more to what makes a relationship end than we may assume.
So what do you think? Is he right or nahhhh?
0 comments:
Post a Comment