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| photo illustrated by Chevelin Pierre. |
Okay welcome to beyond candid, where you say it like it is. No
sugarcoating and you are real about your opinions.
This discussion popped up because of the famous Actress Meagan Good, i fell in love with her when i first watched the movie she starred in, “stomp the yard”. Yeah!
Movie buffs will remember that dance movie. Well, she & her husband DeVon Franklin are currently doing the promo rounds for their book titled – “The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love” on radio and TV in the United States.
They got married in 2012 but before then they had met on set. And over the years, they have been open about how they had a sex-free courtship. Her husband was celibate for 10 years before his relationship with Meagan while she had been celibate for a year.
Meghan good decided to give up on sex because she got tired of being in relationships and getting the same old results. So, becoming celibate was the answer to her growth, mentally, physically and spiritually plus her husband coming along from a Christian perspective and beliefs just made her decision alot easier.
But the issue is that they are both getting backlash, cynicism and skepticism from the press and the world based on the fact that Meghan good had had a string of romantic connections with notable stars throughout her teens and early 20s. So in other words, her celibacy came only because she got her heart ripped apart by her ex-boyfriends who cheated on her.
The crux of the matter is how the world seem to celebrate Kim Kardashian’s breaking the internet or her step father’s transition from Bruce Jenner to Caitlyn Jenner but then a thing or an act that seem to be morally and religiously right isn’t appreciated but then it receives backlash or negative responses from the world.
And this is leading me to ask if the “ No Sex before Marriage or Celibacy” such an unbelievable concept in today’s modern world?
What if this is really one of the major ways to having a healthy, long lasting marriage, would you try it?
I am going to divide the group tonight into two: Team-celibate and Team Premarital sex so that i can be better able to express the views of these group and if you fall within any group, you can comment and defend your group, yea!
Team-No-sex believe that staying celibate is a good idea because with the absence of kiss and tell issues, life is just basically stress less and you can easily get over heart breaks and move on quickly instead of getting so pained because you gave in your all. Plus It’s terrible been in a relationship & constantly getting the same mess ALL the time. So staying celibate is ideal.
This group thinks that just like we have open discussions about sex, with several people married and single alike commenting on how they get down…it would be nice to see the world allow for celibacy discussion as well without shaming those who decide to be celibate.
Team-premarital sex feel that the misconception associated with virginity and celibacy is that the celibate man or woman thinks that there is an automatic guarantee I am going to divide the group tonight into two: Team-celibate and Team Premarital sex so that i can be better able to express the views of these group and if you fall within any group, you can call in and defend your group, yea!
So when you call in tonight. First thing you say, is Team-Celibacy or Team Premarital Sex if that’s the group you feel comfortable with. No need to be shy about it, yea!!
Team No sex believes that staying celibate is a good idea guys..Because with the absence of kiss and tell issues, life is just basically stress less and you can easily get over heart breaks and move on quickly instead of getting so pained because you gave in your all. Plus It’s terrible been in a relationship & constantly getting the same mess ALL the time. So staying celibate is ideal.
Team-Non-Celibate think that’s just BULL and that You will get the same quality of beef they, “the non-celibate and non-virgin sisters” get and If your choice to engage in no sex before commitment is for God, then by all means ladies go ahead and do it. And do it privately but do not go about bashing or judging those of the non celibates who choose not to. Basically just follow the mantra “Live and let live” and everyone can get to whatever makes for a happy ending for them.
Now, whether Team-celibate or Team –non-celibate like it or not, there is always this rift between both of them. The question is why do these teams disagree, argue and judge themselves when the topic of stay or not staying celibate comes on?
In the debate between team-Celibate
and team-Non-celibate, Team celibate
think that Team celibate is just delusional if they hope that being a virgin is
a guarantee to get a faithful husband and that every woman, virgin or not, get
a fair share of a cheating husband at
some point in time. And in response to team non celibate, team celibate made it
known that because a girl is a virgin does not make her stupid or delusional! They
all know most men cheat! And their decision to abstain is totally different
from their prayers for a good husband who will love and cherish them hence they
don’t have any unrealistic expectations just because this is one part of their lives
that is in obedience to God.. But then, they want to put it straight with team
non-celibate that they should not use the fact that every woman gets the same
type of wishy-washy husbands in order to justify their disobedience to what is
right….
Team celibate just wants team non celibate to quit it and Worry about themselves and their team….plus if they think that they are having all the fun, then why do they feel the need to berate the team celibate? Bottom line is that sex becloud your sense of reason in courtship, so why do it and feel miserable at the end when you can’t trust your partner staying along with the opposite sex, or when you discover that after all said and done, you both aren’t compatible.
In the camp of Team celibate there is even a level of
uncertainty going on in there, some people who have remained celibate almost
all their lives or a virgin and now are getting older are sort of confused and
asking questions. Now get it first, they are quite aware of the abstinence
ordinances in religious books but then, their questions is If indeed God wanted
us to wait till marriage to have sex then why would he give the ‘desires’ so
early and then not provide husbands or wives on time?
At the start, it was a combination of pride and religiousness
that ensured some people in this camp or group to not have sex as a younger women, now some of
them are in their thirties, and now that the ideals are changing, morals fast degrading,
they are wondering how long they still have to wait for God to bring the one...
and this “no Sex thing” is the reason
why most virtuous or good ladies are single
to stupor because It’s becoming impossible to find sensible men in this age who
understand the perks celibacy comes with later on in marriage
Team no celibacy, are still stand their grounds saying that they
will be having sex before marriage. Because they would rather know what he is
working with before they enter a marriage of eternal sexual displeasure. Yes,
sex is important in a marriage..and they need to do their checks and balances
before it becomes a sorry situation in the future. No one wants an impotent man
or a man with no skills or a man with pinkie size equipment. So check and know what you are buying or
selling respectively as it relates with man or woman.
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