I said
something about writing a post on how I ended up single. You know, I use to
have boyfriends before. As a matter of fact I have dated 2 and half men.
My first relationship was when I was 12 years old. The guy was 13
years older than me but I didn’t care! As long as I was concerned, I was in
love! Sadly, this crush, infatuation or love I felt lasted only six weeks. This
is why we broke up >>>
After one week of the relationship, my boyfriend summoned up to
courage to ask for a kiss. I wanted it special but I had no experience so I
turned him down and told him it was gonna happen ‘next time’. I kept on using
the ‘next time’ excuse for the next 3weeks. One particular day, he couldn’t
stand it anymore so he told me to leave his house and come back ONLY when I am
ready to kiss.
I didn’t want to lose my one&only true love so I went on a 3weeks course on ‘How To Kiss’.
I didn’t want to lose my one&only true love so I went on a 3weeks course on ‘How To Kiss’.
I became fascinated with the word ‘kissing’. Back then, there were
no cell phones, BIS and all meaning I had no access to google, wikipedia or
youtube to teach me so I had to improvise.
I read my mill&booms and I found myself reading any particular
page that had the word ‘kiss’ in it as much as five times. I also had to resort
to newspapers. I would read a five page article on politics and what was going
on in Aso Rock as long as it has the word ‘kiss’ in it. If the newscaster on
NTA network mentioned kiss, I listened to news all day.
Finally, I resorted to creeping at night to the living room to rewind the ‘kissing scenes’ of the movies my siblings and I watched earlier during the day. Afterwards. I will spend the rest of the night kissing my palms since I had no close friend to rehearse with. This lasted three weeks.
Finally, I resorted to creeping at night to the living room to rewind the ‘kissing scenes’ of the movies my siblings and I watched earlier during the day. Afterwards. I will spend the rest of the night kissing my palms since I had no close friend to rehearse with. This lasted three weeks.
There was this particular movie I saw where the kissing scene
lasted 3 minutes. It was so intense. I can swear they did the French kiss stuff
and added a touch of Spanish kiss.
Brother, Sister, I had finally arrived! After rewinding that scene for more than ten times. I felt I was ready and I made up my mind to visit my boyfriend the next day and wow him!
Don’t forget there was nothing like GSM so all we did back then was surprise visits at your own risks.
Brother, Sister, I had finally arrived! After rewinding that scene for more than ten times. I felt I was ready and I made up my mind to visit my boyfriend the next day and wow him!
Don’t forget there was nothing like GSM so all we did back then was surprise visits at your own risks.
Next day, I brushed 3times that morning and went on a water diet
to keep my mouth fresh.
As soon as I got into his house, I had to remind myself ”NSG, you aint leaving this place until you french-kiss the hell out of that nigga” ”kosi wahala” I responded to myself and arranged my invisible collar. Boyfriend1 hugged me and leaded me to the couch. ”How are you?” before I could respond, I noticed patches of vegetable leaves on his teeth and his palm oil tongue. Why do bad things happen to good people? He had to choose that special day to eat soup of all things and his mouth smelt liked parboiled goat meat. I couldn’t back out now after three weeks of practice. I had to put my nose and eyes in stealth mood because I was there on a mission!
I rolled my eyes. ”I wanna to kiss you” I said with my British accent I used only on special occasions. Boyfriend1 was excited immediately he heard those words. He brought his vegetable soup lips to my fluoride mouth and then just like I saw in the movies or I think I saw in the movies, I held his head then I used my teeth to grab his tongue. That was when I heard ‘JESUSSSS! My tongue o! Do you want to kill me!!” ”I’m sorry” I found myself talking inside his mouth while my voice echoed from his ears”. He wore a bull dog frown while he pushed me aside. I got up, opened the door and fled in embarrassment.
He didn’t make any attempt to contact me after that.
Remember there were no BBM to chat things over, I had no cellphone to explain myself so I had to let go…
That was the end of my first relationship…
Watch Out For Episode II next week Tuesday which will center around Boyfriend2.
As soon as I got into his house, I had to remind myself ”NSG, you aint leaving this place until you french-kiss the hell out of that nigga” ”kosi wahala” I responded to myself and arranged my invisible collar. Boyfriend1 hugged me and leaded me to the couch. ”How are you?” before I could respond, I noticed patches of vegetable leaves on his teeth and his palm oil tongue. Why do bad things happen to good people? He had to choose that special day to eat soup of all things and his mouth smelt liked parboiled goat meat. I couldn’t back out now after three weeks of practice. I had to put my nose and eyes in stealth mood because I was there on a mission!
I rolled my eyes. ”I wanna to kiss you” I said with my British accent I used only on special occasions. Boyfriend1 was excited immediately he heard those words. He brought his vegetable soup lips to my fluoride mouth and then just like I saw in the movies or I think I saw in the movies, I held his head then I used my teeth to grab his tongue. That was when I heard ‘JESUSSSS! My tongue o! Do you want to kill me!!” ”I’m sorry” I found myself talking inside his mouth while my voice echoed from his ears”. He wore a bull dog frown while he pushed me aside. I got up, opened the door and fled in embarrassment.
He didn’t make any attempt to contact me after that.
Remember there were no BBM to chat things over, I had no cellphone to explain myself so I had to let go…
That was the end of my first relationship…
Watch Out For Episode II next week Tuesday which will center around Boyfriend2.
Twitter @naijasinglegirl
website: Naijasinglegirl.com
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