Hey guys, good morning!
A great friend of mine introduced me to a website this morning and omo, i found this article that got me reeling with laughter and i guess it will do for you too.
Some years ago, I met a good man. In my head, I figured, “here is the one in whom my heart is well pleased”. I imagined the white house and picket fence. This guy was an orator, when he spoke, people listened because he had charisma and all that but with most things in life, there is the huge BUT! After almost a year into dating him, I was clueless about his bedmatics but since we had mutually agreed there will be no premarital sex, it was not out of place. I got curious after several ‘safe’ make out rounds and I did not feel any kind of bulge down there. I insisted on seeing it one day and for a man this close to perfection, he had the smallest junk when I saw it, I was shocked! Worst still, it did not make any attempt to rise to the occasion . . . literally!
Side bar: How do you know if a guy is impotent?
That said, I tried to stay with him but I had lost trust in him because I felt I really had a right to know in the early stage of the relationship, seeing as we were planning a future together. It was obvious he had a problem down there and as much as it was okay to think toys and other stuff will make up for the short fall, his bruised ego and my feeling of betrayal could not stand the test of time. I never found out how sex would have been but I was certain we would have had a lot of ‘are we there yet?’ moments. Sigh.
Then I met an average guy, nothing fantastic there. It was just normal, and of course being a girl that is kind of boring in sex affairs, I did not get to experiment with him. It was BASIC. I longed for something different. I wanted to be in a loving relationship, be satisfied sexually and unleash some kinky stuff (still working on this aspect) which helps when it comes to bedroom matters. Most importantly, I prayed not to meet anyone that was like boyfriend 1 above.
Well, I must have unconsciously prayed TOO much to God for a BIG guy downstairs because I met my ‘boyfriend of life’ a couple of months ago and for obvious reasons, someone decided to play a joke on me because sex with him till date is kind of scary as he literally has ‘King Kong Junk in the Trunk’! Sex can be painful especially as things stretch down there. He says it is because we aren’t doing it regularly and says it will get better if we become active lovers *shivers*. Basically, my lady part will expand to accommodate him as the landlord.
Well, you know how they say there is a particular person for everyone on earth? Yeah, I did not believe it until the first time we tried to have sex. I just figured there and then, God must have made some girl somewhere with something more elastic /wider to accommodate what I was staring at in that very moment! Won’t let him go to her though, love him too much for that. Plus, I feel like the luckiest girl right now because he is patient and extremely gentle, makes sure I am extremely lubricated and all but feeling that after-sex-throb a whole day/two days after the do get as ḗ be!
We are in a great place now and hopefully for the long haul but I have these crazy thoughts in my head during sex with him…
This is what crowning (when a baby’s head is coming through at child birth) must feel like …yea, that’s extreme but you get the gist.
If/when he leaves me, the next guy will think I am like a hole with no grip/end in sight . . . yea, I know they said that place recovers quickly but…
He will go right into the womb and deposit there at this rate.
Those are the extreme scenarios for me and I do know some of you guys have had at least one experience with these kind of guys and maybe know how to handle these situations. Please let us know if you have had an extreme case before, especially for the big ones and how you handled it so a sister can learn because I think my relationship is struggling in that area as we are basically mainly missionary (No crazy styles with this man and although doggy hits the spot, is sooooooo filling and seems safe, there is still that small pain). Epp me!
I have focused mainly on extreme small and big but please tell us what scares you/seems tricky when it comes to the junk in the trunk! Is it when it is too big? Too small? Curved sideways/backwards? Circumcised/uncircumcised?
Do tell….
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Women said, its not about the size, but the ability to work and last longer.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.thekillerpunch.com
Thank you Itohowo..most def. Its about how you can put what you have to work and not so much as to what you packing. But if you have got size too and can werk it, then thats a plus.
Deletelol, this is hilarious! I dont know but i think we have been brainwashed by pornos to think that if he is not atleast 8inches then he is not man enough. This has made most men go the extra mile to seek ways to enlarge their sizes. What women then to forget is that the g spot is what makes you climax and its just i think 3cm away from your vagina opening and you can find it with the “come hither” finger curl way. So, a man with small dick can even work wonders when he understands the anatomy of his woman more than a man with large junk in the trunk. So, size dont matter and for me, its definitely skills over size.
ReplyDeleteFefe, you always surprise me with your comment. I must say you couldn't have said it any better! Thanks
DeleteLove that skills over size.
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